Top tips to help manage the impact of fostering on birth children
Becoming a foster parent isn’t an overnight decision, particularly if you already have children of your own. There are many things to consider and it’s important to include the whole household from the beginning. The wellbeing of your birth children will of course be your number one priority, but the other important people who need to be involved on this journey are the foster child/ren who will enter your family’s home. It may sound daunting, but when it’s done well, it’s literally life-changing (in a good way) for all!
We know from experience that with the right communication, planning and support, all those involved will get the most positive outcomes from the fostering journey and experience, so we’ve put together some top tips to help make this journey as smooth as possible.
Be honest
Right from the start, your birth children need to be involved in all the conversations about your thoughts and feelings around fostering. They need to know how it will affect them and to be reassured that they are still just as important. There are lots of unknowns with fostering and it’s not always easy, so honesty is essential. If you’re considering short-term fostering for example, the children coming into your home may change often, and your time and attention will be shared with another child or children.
Make time for birth children
When you have a foster child living with you it’s vital you make sure you have regular one-to-one time with your own children. This will reassure them and help them remain feeling secure.
Have open communication
Fostering a child can bring challenges as well as rewards. Keep an open dialogue with your birth children so they can talk to you about anything that’s worrying them or bothering them. It helps if you talk to them regularly about any fostering arrangements, whether pending or current, so they know it’s ok for them to raise the topic too. This helps them feel safe when sharing their feelings and can make finding solutions to any problems so much easier.
Maintain good behaviour
You might be worried about your child copying any negative behaviours that a foster child may display, however long they have been with you. Be honest with your child about the experiences the children in your care are likely to have had, and why this means they might have social and emotional difficulties. It’s important to maintain that negative behaviour is not acceptable and that you’ll be working with the foster child to help them with their struggles, which can take time.
Build healthy relationships
All children are different, whether biologically related or not! Often, children will bond over a shared interest, a toy or a game, so take advantage of these moments to help the children build a positive relationship. Good relationships help make your home a happy and healthy environment for everyone. You can further encourage this through fun activities, playtime and talking together as a family. Dinner table chats can be a great method!
Prepare for when placements end
Your biological children might find it very hard when a child in your care has to move on, whatever the reason. This can be planned or sudden and can be difficult to process for a child or teenager. They may experience a sense oof loss so will need plenty of space and time to share their feelings and feel able to express themselves honestly and freely.
Are you thinking about welcoming a child or young person to share your family’s home?
Drop us a line by emailing us at info@lafosteringse.org.uk, or call us on 0300 131 2797. Alternatively, fill in our enquiry form and we’ll have a member of our fostering team get in touch with you.
We’re proud to be part of the Local Authority Fostering South East hub, working together with 19 other local authorities to recruit local carers for local children across the region.